Tanzanian child explains plot to Schwarzenegger's COMMANDO

Alex, age 9, explains the plot to the Arnold Schwarzenegger movie Commando ... and does a better job than the folks who actually wrote the damn film.

Han Solo and Pika-chewie

The Avengers movie toys: Coming sooner than you think

Here's a look at the first wave of action figures from the upcoming Thor movie. It's worth noting there are still Iron-Man 2 figures on the shelves, while Captain America toys will be available by the start of summer. It's entirely likely you'll find toys for the lead characters in The Avengers film on the shelves together within just a few months ... and the film hasn't even started shooting yet.

Classic Mad Magazine BATMAN parody

Here ir is: the original Mad Magazine parody of the 1960s Batman TV show. Written and illustrated by Mort Drucker and Lou Silverstone, the plot shares a few important concepts with Frank Miller's The Dark Knight Strikes Again, for better or worse. Click the pics for larger images.

Alien maternity shirt

"In the maternity ward, no one can hear you scream." From Redbubble.

Statue of Robocop coming to old Detroit?

Newser is reporting that officer Alex Murphy could be getting some Rocky III-esque recognition in his hometown of Detroit.  From Newser:

It began as a joke idea, but now Detroit may actually get a statue of RoboCop. Fans of the crime-fighting cyborg from the 1987 film have united online ... with a goal of raising $80,000 for the project, reports the Detroit News. The campaign started after Mayor Dave Bing shot down the idea of the city paying for one on Twitter earlier this week. Thus, a movement began, even if the News points out this subsequent tweet from the person who originally floated the idea: "I honestly never wanted to waste the mayor's time. It was a joke." 

Meanwhile, here's a link to the online fund raising campaign to pay for the statue.

Lazy Teenage Superheroes: The Movie

Keep Weird Fiction Ticking

Writer Joshua M. Reynolds has an offer you might be interested in. From his website:

Okay, so on Tuesday, as you may or may not recall, I mentioned something about a contest. Which is possibly an erroneous term, as it's more in the way of an incentive drive than a contest, but who gives a crap right? FREE STUFF, that's the point I'm trying to get across here.


Specifically, a free 10,000 word novelette. "The Black-Winged Ones" follows occultist Harley Warren and former-inspector John Raymond Legrasse as they investigate a series of bloody murders and stumble upon a hideous conspiracy in turn-of-the-century New Orleans. AND, to top it off-it's illustrated by MD Jackson!


Interested? Obviously, otherwise you wouldn't be reading this. So, February is Fundraising Month at Innsmouth Free Press. They're attempting to raise the modest sum of $1,500 CAD and because I enjoy the magazine (seriously, check out issue 4), I decided to help out in my own small way (yes, I have indeed also donated cash but this is more fun). 

Reynolds is offering a PDF of his novelette to anyone who donates ANY amount to the cause. You can get the full details at his website HERE. And give the Innsmouth Free Press a look, while your at it.

(Via contributing editor the Hypno Pimp.)

Giant vintage Luke Skywalker!

Entertainment Earth has this little huge item on pre-order: a 12" replica of the Luke Skywalker 3 3/4" action figure from 1977. It won't be available until July (which probably mean it won't be available until September) and runs $76.

My first reaction to seeing this toy: "I bet you could totally bludgeon someone to death with that!" 

Playmobil Joy Division video

There's a Weeble Wobble joke here somewhere, but it eludes me.

Henry & Glenn Forever gets weird(er)

If you're not familiar with the Igloo Tornado's Henry & Glenn Forever book, you're missing out on some cosmic-level weirdness. The idea began as a collection of cartoons from various artists depicting punk/metal icons Glenn Danzig and Henry Rollins as a happily married gay couple living in suburbia. Since then it's ... well, you see the artwork above, right? You can find more at the H&G Facebook page. Buy the book HERE. I SAID BUY IT!

Since the initial book was published, the concept has exploded into public art exhibits, music and other forms of expression.  Every time it appears to have run its course, someone else steps up with an idea that extends it a few more minutes. H&G has been a blast so far but I have to wonder where it will end. I suspect the words "murder" and "Danzig" will be involved somehow, though.

Because 15 minutes have passed without a Batman-related post ...

Via Wondermark (and, in a round about way, the Hypno Pimp)

Scuba Diving Pets

Apparently caring for your pet isn't enough for some people. In some twisted form of logic that would probably creep out the killer from The Vanishing, folks now show their pets how much they love them by trying and failing to drown them. I didn't even know this was a thing.





The next video concerns a man named Gene Alba who thought it was a good idea to take his cat diving. Just so you know, Gene ... your cat HATES you.



"It began when Hawkeye's owner, Gene Alba, decided to find a way to combine his two passions: torturing animals and tempting fate."

A Starbucks employee's guide to customers

Offbeat Batman tees

Bat and Robin from SnorgTees

Wayne Enterprises logo from BustedTees

Zombie Batman vomiting Black Lantern Rings

Batman Splatter from Palmer Cash

Crisis on Infinite WTFs

Romanian witches could face jail if predictions don't come true

No, that's not a headline from The Onion. It's from USA Today (which is kind of a step down from The Onion, now that I think about it.) Here's a quick extract:

Romanian witches, who began being taxed for their trade last week, could face a worse fate if lawmakers pass a proposed bill that threatens fines or even prison if their predictions don't come true.

From AP: 

"They can't condemn witches, they should condemn the cards," Queen Witch Bratara Buzea told The Associated Press by telephone.

 Did we learn nothing from Suspiria?

McBain: The Movie

Apparently, the creators of The Simpsons maintained a fairly strict continuity for their McBain character, an action-movie hero portrayed by the the Schwarzeneggerian actor Rainier Wolfcastle. If you edit together the various clips from his episodes, you get the video above.

Link.

Plus: the other McBain movie.

Batman's a Downer

Melbourne was once known as ... Batmania?

The Bronx cover Prince (video above.)

* If it's on the Internet then it must be true: Melbourne, Austrailia, was once known as Batmania?

* De-Animator: Online Flash game pits you against Lovecraftian zombies. Link.

* Casting call for Nirvana's Smells Like Teen Spirit video. Link.

I dig the chainsaw bayonet, but the silencer is probably redundant.

From Something Awful (obviously.)